


Lead Is Terrible In Flavour (Crankiplier)

by majesticdragonair



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexuality, Blood, Getting Together, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Vomiting, the last two aren't described heavily, they're just mentioned to be happening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 14:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17285540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticdragonair/pseuds/majesticdragonair
Summary: I despise you sometimesI love to hate the fight and you in my life is likeSippin' on straight chlorineOr, the hanahaki au nobody asked for but here I am anyway.





	Lead Is Terrible In Flavour (Crankiplier)

**Author's Note:**

> i've never really had an interest in this au BUT i read the fic above and got inspired by it bc it's very well written, and here i am! i'd like to point out that amy and mark are only friends in this and haven't been in a relationship at all, entirely for plot purposes; i love amy and mark to bits.
> 
> remember, this is fiction: i know that both ethan and mark haven't explicitly stated they're interested in the same gender and that's fine. please don't show this to them; that's helping nobody.
> 
> title from chlorine by twenty one pilots

Ethan knew it was coming; ever since he moved to LA, it was almost as if he could feel the flowers blooming in his lungs, weakening his breathing, limiting his eating. It kept him up at night eventually; the pain become too much to sleep through sometimes.   
  
He coughed the first flower.

It was early enough in the morning that he couldn’t see it, but he felt it crawl up his throat and jump from his lips. He knew he was bleeding; he could feel the splatter on his lips, and all his weak body could do was huff slightly and fall back asleep.   
  
When he woke up hours later, it was the first thing he saw; a bloodied, purple anemone, staring back at him. Ethan sat up quickly and grabbed the soaked flower, throwing it in the trash: he didn’t want to see it ever again. Even more so, hours later, when he was leaning over his toilet and vomiting them up.

-  
  
Hanahaki disease wasn’t something that affected everyone who fell in love: only on third of the entire population were statistically able to get it. And if you were one of those unlucky people, it would only ever happen to you once. Ethan remembered all of that because Amy had opened up to the group about her experience with it.  
  
“The only way to get rid of it, is for them to return your love or to get it surgically removed, but you forgot the person if you do that.”   
  
“What did you do?”   
  
“...The second.”   
  
They stopped talking about it after that.   
  
-   
  
Ethan’s health slowly began to deteriorate, and everyone was quick to notice it; he was never very good at lying. And it was even quicker before the stupid excuses of “it’s just a cold, it’ll wear off” began to get old and for the others to notice it was something much worse.

Ethan expected Amy to figure it out first, for obvious reasons, but it was Kathryn who walked into the kitchen when everyone was out, walking over to rub Ethan’s back as he leaned over the sink and cried, blood running down his lips and flower petals foaming in his mouth.   
  
When he was done, and he spent a few silent minutes cleaning up, Kathryn looked at him with sympathetic eyes. “Mark?”  
  
He nodded slightly, and she pulled him in for a hug, opening another set of floodgates as he cried again. She only hummed quietly, and Ethan hoped he would be okay. 

-

It slowly got to the point where it was painful every moment Ethan was awake, then sleeping, then existing all together. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind until Kathryn pulled him aside one day, where it was obvious Ethan wasn’t feeling well, getting worse at holding it together.   
  
“You should tell him.”   
  
The idea that Ethan could even get rid of this problem hadn’t crossed his mind; getting the surgery was out of the question, because Ethan loved Mark with his entire heart, and the idea of forgetting him hurt more than the seeds itself planting in his lungs, sprouting and clinging to his rib cage with strong vines.

The idea of confessing his feelings to Mark was almost out of reach, the way Ethan saw it. Mark had expressed enough times that he’d never felt himself romantically inclined to men, even when he smiled and hugged Ethan after he’d come out as bisexual, months before this problem arose in Ethan’s life.    
  
Confessing to Mark felt like an idea that was just out of his orbit, and no matter how much Ethan climbed and moved to grab at it, it’d dodge his hands every time.

-

“We have to talk.”   
  
Ethan was dreading this; the moment Mark, both as his friend and as his boss, would ask for the truth. About what was happening; why his health wasn’t great at that moment, why it was all happening, why he wasn’t telling.   
  
Until now.   
  
_ Until now. _   
  
“Mark-”   
  
“Don’t you dare say it’s nothing, Ethan,” Mark scolded. “We’ve all noticed, and I’m tired of you lying to us about it. If you can’t tell the others, that’s fine. But as your boss Ethan, I need to know, in case we have to change your line up a bit. And as a friend....” Mark sat back, and let his walls come down, choking up a bit. “As your friend, I’m really worried.”   
  
Ethan covered his face, shielded his eyes with the palm of his hand because he knew he was going to cry, if not already. “I have hanahki.”   
  
The air when thick with a pin drop. “Ethan-”   
  
“I can’t get the surgery,” Ethan choked. “Because- because if I forget, then it’s all over for me, and I can’t do that.”   
  
“You’ll die, Ethan. Nobody wants that,” Mark said softly. “And I’m sure they don’t want that either.”   
  
“I know.”

Silence, and just as Ethan went to stand up and leave the room awkwardly, Mark spoke. “We’ll talk about it more when we can, Ethan. I just… really want to help you, and make sure you’re okay.”

Ethan looked at him finally, catching his breath when he saw the way Mark was looking at him, with pain in his eyes that Ethan could feel down to the bottom of his heart. “Thank you.”   
  
Mark smiled, and suddenly the bottom of his heart lit up.   
  
He was so screwed.

-

Mark reduced his hours working with the team, catching Ethan’s eye whenever they were in the same room and not going away until he was sure Ethan was able to sit up right and keep his eyes open all the way. Ethan made sure that Mark wasn’t around when he raced for the bathroom, the petals already choking him in his mouth in his attempt to hold them in. 

Ethan hated the colour purple slowly; the way it mixed with the red everytime he pulled away his newly carried around handkerchief, only for his to wash it with disgust clear on his face. The flowers felt like humiliation; that he wasn’t good enough for a straight man's love.

Ethan loved and hated Mark Fischbach and Ethan hated that feeling most of all.   
  
-

Amy found him passed out in the bathroom, covered in blood.

She was crying when he woke up to her cleaning his chin, trying to cover her face with a weak smile, like she always did when she broke down like this. Ethan hoped she didn’t feel like she was reliving this; the nightmare she described, which he never fully understood until the feeling of the first bud in his chest.

“Ethan-”   
  
“I can’t, Amy,” He sniffed, stripping his shirt without care when he saw how much blood there really was. “If I get the surgery, then I’ll lose my entire life. I moved here and it’s my job, and if I do it, my entire life goes down the drain.”   
  
“I mean, tell him,” She whispered back. She stared back at him with glassy eyes as she continued talking, like when she first opened up about it, almost autopilot. “When I told him i had flowers for him, I knew it wouldn’t turn out well for me; he was engaged, he was my best friend. But I knew if I didn’t tell him why I’d suddenly packed up and left, he wouldn’t understand. But you have a chance Ethan, and I want you to be alive, and I want you to be happy.”   
  
Ethan sniffled, catching a taste of his own tears as he nodded rapidly. She smiled at him again, the green returning to her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. It hurts so much. But you’re a strong boy; our strong, little drummer boy, and you’ll get through this.”   
  
“I’ll get through this,” He repeated, and suddenly his entire orbit was changed, and the confidence was in his hands again.

-

Ethan caught Mark off guard when he turned up to his house the next day, as if he’d only just gotten back home, still unleashing Chica and Henry from an apparent walk when he knocked. Mark smiled instantly when he saw him. “Hey-”   
  
“It’s you.”

The smile was replaced with clear confusion, because a statement like that made no sense without context, but Ethan was woozy and felt as if his head was floating. “I have it for you, Mark. And- I can’t, anymore. It hurts so much, Mark. So much-”   
  
“Hey, Ethan, come back to me.” Mark was suddenly in front of Ethan, holding him gently by the arms and coaxing him in the cooler house, one that sent chills up Ethan’s body. He could feel his lungs breathing now; was he dying?   
  
“Ethan, please, I need you to look at me when I say this, okay?” Mark had that begging tone in his voice, one that couldn’t be ignored, and when Ethan looked, his brown eyes were filled with nothing but warmth. Mark smiled. “I love you.”   
  
Ethan almost expected to feel the flat feeling that he read about, when someone tried to lie about returning their love, only for the vines to crush your ribs and the stems to climb your throat. But instead he felt the heavy feeling in his entire body slam into him, and then his chest was rising, and rising, and-   
  
“Toilet.”

Mark nodded, dragging Ethan down the hall until they reached the bathroom, watching as Ethan flawlessly collapsed to the floor and lift the seat up, leaning over and vomiting loudly, the water splashing back at him. Mark was reminded about how Ethan probably done this everyday for months now because he was afraid of rejection.

Mark sat next to him and leaned on his back, listening through bones and muscles as the flowers excavated from Ethan’s body. He gagged loudly when the stems spewed out of his body, looking like rotten, overcooked noodles, and then thicker stems that quickly resembled decaying vines were spat up next, one lone vine that stopped with Ethan breathing loudly. He slumped back into Mark’s lap.

It was over.

Ethan was instantly enveloped into warm arms when a sob escaped his lips, and he didn’t turn him away, letting himself cling to Mark tiredly and cry the past six months out through tears and snot. Mark scooted to lean against the bathtub and adjusted Ethan so they could rock slowly, whispering words of encouragement into Ethan’s ears, rubbing circles onto the exposed part of his arms.

“I love you so much, Ethan,” Mark whispered when Ethan quietened down, still clinging to Mark’s shirt. “I’m so sorry you spent so much time and pain on me, that you feel like you couldn’t confess. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to help you. But I’m here now, and I’m so glad you told me.”

Ethan pulled away, so he could finally look Mark in the eyes, and the biggest smile crossed his mouth. He lifted his hands and held Mark’s cheeks, watching those brown eyes light up and fill with warmth Ethan was so happy was directed at him. 

“I should wash out my mouth,” Ethan whispered.    
  
“Please do,” Mark whispered back, watching as Ethan clambered up and getting to the sink, spending a minute washing his mouth out with water until the taste of iron was gone. He got on his knees in front of Mark, who was still sitting, and held his face before leaning in and kissing him. His entire body practically crumbled after the real feeling of Mark’s lips on his, after spending too long daydreaming about how it’d actually feel.

Ethan felt Mark’s hands reside on his hips and he finally felt at home again.

**Author's Note:**

> ps. yes i know in the actual version of hanahaki disease when you get the surgery you lose the ability to love rather then the memories of the person you love but for plot purposes, i made it this way
> 
> pss. check me out on tumblr at majesticdragonair if you want !!


End file.
